Your eyes draw me in
Your smile casts a spell,
I want to lose myself
I want to rebel
But you know,
You’re far braver
Far too good for me
You already understood
Things I was too busy to foresee.
Did you know
that the moon reflects my moods?
It vanishes from the night sky when I retreat into my shell
and peeps out a little the following night
When I tread out lightly to test the waters.
Some nights
When I’m consumed by your thoughts,
heady with your desire,
I glow with the full moon in my window.
And on nights when I just want to
quietly soak in your presence,
Without the ripple of words disturbing us,
The moon is half full in the night sky.
The moon and I
are in perfect sync -
only the undulating tides of the ocean
know this secret.
Hugs and kisses
Won’t mend what’s broken between us.
I carry the remnants of our relationship
With me like a dead weight;
You can see its shadow in my eyes
If you really look.
Grief is my best friend
For its utter honesty,
So I may find my strength
To inhale and exhale and function
day after day.
Your eyes pierce my heart -
That teeny squint and the slight turn of your lips,
And the way you sometimes hold your chin in your fingers,
While you pretend to listen to me…
I know you’re actually studying my face,
Making a memory.
What thoughts are you thinking
in that beautiful head of yours?
You speak so little and hear so much!
Although my words seem to matter less than my voice
But my oh my, your eyes -
Your eyes belie you as such.
Hi, Good Morning
Thank you for finally coming into my life
Although I was just fine before I met you
And I thought I knew love
It was abundant and free-flowing in me, afterall.
But then, why was I often jarred and hurt?
Why was my spirit often walled by silence?
Why were there sharp words and cold shoulders?
They have invented fine terms to describe it,
Like ‘toxicity’ and ‘narcissism’,
But, when the person cannot see
And you blame them for not seeing
Then who really is blind?
Thank you for showing me what love feels like
When it envelops you securely,
When it is open and honest.
I was whole by myself, like the earth
But you, my moon, rendered meaning to my gravity.
We reside in two different worlds
Like matter and anti matter
We collide and destroy something
every time.
Silent screams in my head
get the better of me.
The ice-cold formality
The same talks on a loop
The pretense of it all
And the futility thereof.
It bothers but it doesn't
Thank God for the distractions of Life!
Where does time fly?
One moment we're playing hide & seek at home
And the next we're staring at gigantic problems of managing the household.
Where did all those years go?
Where did my age go?
My straight hair and smooth skin?
Where do things go when they're gone?
We were fretting over one silly test at school
And now we manoeuvre our way across the globe to Canada!
How did we cover so much distance?
And when?
Where does time fly?
I fall with another big crash
without a sound,
breaking from within
yet again.
Smash and throw me
a million times more
How would it matter?
It's all smithereens anyway.
There's no word to describe
this terrible pain.
Throbbing. Livid. Suffocating.
It consumes everything there is
left of life in me.
Time has dulled it into
a deep ache
etched into my very being.
It's all over me
Black and blue.
How can you ever feel
my pain
or see my changed fabric?
You only see with eyes.
I am glad it happened. All said and done, I am glad. Yes, this is the most terrible pain, like someone is ripping my insides. Like there'll never be bright blue skies again. Like a train has collided into me headlong. Like someone is crushing my lungs and I can't breathe. Like I'm being sucked into a blackhole from where there's no coming back. Like there will never be any laughter, jokes, or joy again between us. Like you took the most precious part of me and let it bleed to death. Like my whole life has been a lie. But I am glad that the bubble has burst. I now know where I'm really at.
And isn't it true that destruction precedes creation? You bring down the old to build the new. Maybe this is a new beginning for me. Time will heal. Time will heal. Thank God for time.
This ache feels like an old friend
It hugs me every time I'm alone,
Carrying me a million miles away
to a place where silently I mourn.
You gave me this hurt -
This seething cut that bleeds,
You say time is a bandage,
but weight of the present impedes
Your words, your face, your ego
All present in the present with me
Make my legs heavy and my days steep
and you say climbing will help me see?
The fog of your lies still surrounds me
The night of betrayal is still young,
The tune of your heart was different
than the tune that my heart sung.
No quick fixes or short cuts
would help us through the fresh starts,
For love is the fastest route
to cover the distance between broken hearts.
There is a hole now
where my heart once lay.
Its darkness is all consuming
Joy, happiness, companionship?
All went down that hole
and didn't even make a sound.
All the gifts I gave you
wrapped in sparkly packets of my love
lay crushed and beaten
in your hands.
And there, under your feet,
lies my poor heart.
